On a jaunt to the theatre this afternoon with a dear friend of mine, I came across a former student who was just about to run,skip, jump, flip into his parkour regime for the day. He asked where I was working (Cue the Red Queens voice in my head!) & whether I would be returning to his school anytime soon. What I meant to say was "I would rather nail my tongue to the hoof of a rodeo bull!" but what I said was "No sorry, I'm moving to Melbourne". His automatic response was "Faggot!".
Que? Said I. "Look up the definition & then we'll talk". I began walking away.
Jovially, he replied "Faggot. Bundle of sticks. Poofter. Gaybo, Homo, Queer, whatever". Then he did a sideways somersault with a half-twist, probably trying to impress me. I was not impressed.
As I walked away with my dear friend, who, like me is all of the above (and one of the greatest people I have ever met!) I didn't know what to be saddest about. Should I once again lament upon the fact that the proper use of the english language is in danger of becoming extinct, or do I focus on what is most obvious: that the term Gay & all its sissy affiliates has become code-name for stupid or bad?
I get on really well with this student & he has shown himself to be a great kid in our past dealings, but it was extremely tempting to grab my friend & lay a passionate smooch on his lips just as a means of a reality check for him. Then again, this friend of mine IS a grand kisser, so I'm not too sure who the reality check would have benefitted ;-P.
I'm ever hopeful that the reason this problem is so widespread is because it has just become such an occasional word, like 'Shit!', 'Fuck!' etc & will hopefully one day, in the true course of things, be replaced with another subsequent word.
(Note: Word on the street is "That's so CHAT" means something is bad. In my day chat meant a conversation...)
As a teacher I hear it so frequently & I would be lying to say that it didn't make me both angry & sad in equal amounts. I wondered what would have been the result if I had as much assertive strength as I wished I possessed & had challenged him on what he'd said. I also wondered what the Copper Dragon at my side would think about such calm yet volatile diatribe & hope he wasn't as annoyed or saddened as I was.
I was however, overjoyed to return home to see another dear friend of mine had sent me this picture with the elegantly simple yet beautiful words 'This reminds me of you".
A friend with perspective.
A friend who can see both sides.
A friend whose expression says WTF!?! at the sheer lunacy of it all.
A friend who says 'I understand!".
A friend who I will always admire for his resoundingly joyful nature, sheer suavity, (amazing ability at twirling a cane!) & for his unwavering support & understanding. The battle shall never be over as long as there is one left to fight for it.
Luckily for us, such perspective is gathering momentum:
I've resolved to follow the example set by both Wanda & Hilary in my classes because even when challenged & told that it doesn't make sense to use the word 'gay' in that context, they JUST DON'T GET IT! It will be hard to walk the fine line of political correctness required as a teacher, but if that is my role, to teach, then let the lesson begin!
