Take the first step...
Thursday 28 April 2011
Sorry to disappoint you.
There are more of these videos in the series but these 3 were my absolute favourite thus far & I heartily recommend the rest for your viewing pleasure. I hope there are more on the way as they are a perfect insight into the stereotypes that so many people attribute to their gay friends. Just because a man is gay doesn't mean he instantly loves Kylie, wears make-up/does drag & is a sexual deviant etc. If a man enjoy those things, then more power to him, it's just not my sort of thing. I have only had a few minor instances in the past when friends have assumed I'd do or enjoy something purely based on the fact that I'm gay, but it was never a big issue really.
In particular, I find it strange when people include classifying someones sexuality when introducing them to other people "This is my friend Tyler.... he's gay!". Not that I feel that sexuality is something that should be buried & burrowed away, it's just the fact that there are so many interesting factors about a person that could provide a much better impact during a first meeting. If it arises in conversation then so be it, but I don't feel it is anyone else's right to reveal so much about someone else to begin with.
Conversations & subsequent topics of discussion should be organic & not a construct of someone elses engineering. Like I said earlier, my favourite colour is green!
xox
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Stereotypes have an ugly power, don't they? Gay people have to spend a lot of their time in a tug of war with the gay stereotype, wondering which aspects to appropriate and which to reject. And by the time you've successfully defined yourself in relation to your stereotype, it's as if the forces of homophobia have already won since the terms of your self-definition were theirs all along.
ReplyDeleteKylie is a great example of this tug of war. I used to enjoy Kylie when I was a child dancing around the kitchen to "Locomotion." As a teenager, I disavowed Kylie completely as adolescence hit and I understood that loving Kylie cast doubts on your masculinity. At 16, I came out as gay, and uncritically re-appropriated her music because Being Gay Meant Loving Kylie; there were many dances and kisses to "Better the Devil You Know" and "Confide In Me." Later again, through my 20s, I rejected her again as I rejected the gay stereotype and tried to find modes of personal expression that were individual and original.
Ach, if only that were the end of the story! One year babe bought me Kylie's "Fever" for a Christmas present. I was a little reluctant but got into the swing again, and played "Come Into My World" to death. Since then, she has been a sporadic but regular feature on my iPod.
Now this isn't to say that I've reached any kind of enlightenment or end-point. It's just that I can see through my history this whole love-hate relationship with Kylie Fricken Minogue which really had nothing to do with her music and everything to do with gay stereotyping.
I'm starting to think that there are some things which are very common among same sex attracted guys - a sense of compassion, a sympathy for women, a creativity - but these things are by no means essential.
All in all, I agree with you! Knowing someone is gay tells you next to nothing about them. Not even what they like to do in bed. (Or not in bed - oh, whatever!)xm